Yesterday we received a very shocking and heart-wrenching text from Jennifer. We were very confused why Jennifer didn't show up to church, and I even got a very unsettling feeling in my stomach. I felt that something was very wrong and we needed to see her. We both felt discouragement. She texted us saying that she no longer wants to be a part of the church anymore, that it isn't her time. We were absolutely devastated, but determined and faithful to bring her back, to help her feel the spirit, and most importantly to help her feel the love of the Savior. While sitting on the floor of her room, Jennifer told us that "it's too hard." We both sunk to the ground where she was and testified of Jesus Christ.
I have never had so much doubt in my entire life as I did yesterday. It was one of the worst feelings in the world. My companion and I testified of Jesus Christ. We testified of his life, the miracles, his atonement, his resurrection! As Sister Duering boldly testified of the suffering Christ went through, I felt the power behind her words. I knew in that moment that although Jennifer felt like giving up, she can find forgiveness and hope. The Savior was spit upon, beaten, whipped, scourged, persecuted, hated, rejected, betrayed, hung on a cross, and even mocked by the thieves crucified next to him. I know that Christ suffered it all. Christ had it way more worse than we ever will. And because of His great and infinite sacrifice, Jennifer can be strengthened and feel the power of the atonement. I know that Satan is real. He wants all of us to fail miserably and not get back up. He wants us to let go of everything and give up. He wants us to make the wrong choices, to feel guilt, and to doubt our self-worth. He wants us to even doubt the eternal love that our Heavenly Father has for us. Turn to the Savior! Look to Christ! James 1:12 "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him." I just wanted to tell Jennifer, "Don't give up! Heavenly Father loves you and knows that you can get through this! Don't give up now! I know it's hard, but all things are possible through Christ!"
This reminds me of the story of Christ walking on water.
Matthew Chapter 14:
26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshiped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.
Sometimes we, like Peter, feel like we can't do it, that we are too afraid, or even doubt. Peter had so much faith that immediately he stepped onto the waves of the sea with his eyes fixed on the Savior. But as soon as he look away from Christ, his faith began to diminish and he started to sink. Even I, a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints started to doubt. I know that when we look to Christ and keep our eyes on Him, eternally, faithfully, and fervently, with all believing, WE CAN DO ALL THINGS! I know that Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of the world. I know that we are children of God. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth. And by faith, we can see miracles. "Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has offered clear counsel against giving up on ourselves. “However many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.”
The elders came by and gave both Jennifer and her twin sister, Erika, a priesthood blessing! Afterwards, Jennifer said that she still wants to come to church. She said she will be at Rylee's baptism on Saturday. I pray that whatever happens with Jennifer, she will remember how much she is loved. We love her more than we can even explain, and her Heavenly Father loves her so much more than that.
Please pray for Jennifer.
Remember, JESUS is THE SAVIOR.
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♥ Sister Alexis Skabelund451 W Bobier Dr
Vista CA 92083-1906
United States
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